


after the fall

by ashinan



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Episode Related, Fluff and Angst, Gen, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 14:20:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashinan/pseuds/ashinan
Summary: The worshippers in the Temple sometimes offered Cali comfort. She's never really used it in practice before.





	after the fall

**Author's Note:**

> I _adored_ Calianna so freaking much that I just had to write a short snippet of her talking with 'Mr' Caleb after that whole deal with the bowl. drama is the best and this campaign is giving it to me in spades I just want to rub my little writer hands all over it yes good
> 
> special thanks to [ Kat](http://distractedkat.tumblr.com/) for liveblogging her experiences at me and making me have more feelings because that's exactly what I needed was more damn feelings anyway HERE WE GO

Night takes the swamp in one fell swoop. Darkness hangs from the trees in thick ropes of shadow and prickles of moonlight, trickling over the water surrounding the tree in soft patterns. Cali brushes the grime from her knees as she fixes her cloak and the slope of her hair. Everything had gone quite messy at the end there. She admits a certain fury that the bowl had been destroyed, but her fierce joy outweighs the draconic need to be close to that _thing_ again.

Drawing open her satchel, she counts the small amount of potions she still has. Didn’t have to use any, which is good. Enough to get her back to town. It would’ve been nice to have Mr. Pervert around simply for the company, even if he was creepy. But this is par for the course. She’s used to quiet and solitude. Tucking her cursed arm beneath her cloak, she picks her way across the safe house.

And nearly brains herself on Mr. Caleb’s leg.

With a startled grunt, Mr. Caleb catches her as she stumbles, twisting enough that she plops down beside him instead of on her face. Thick curls of adrenaline spike through her. Her throat gurgles, growls, and Mr. Caleb jumps, hands up. Cali claps a palm over her mouth.

Her words tumble, struggle past the need to _tear, rip, feast_. “Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t - adrenaline gets the other half going, you know, it has this response to danger and - not that you’re dangerous, of course, Mr. Caleb, not at all. I just wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“It’s all right, Calianna,” Mr. Caleb says, soft.

Cali tucks her hair behind her ear, better to give the draconic side of her better sight. Mr. Caleb hunches forward, blood under his fingernails and the rust of his hair dappled with wilting flowers. He’s so _small_ out here, so much less than when he’s wielding his magic. Cali scoots a bit closer. She’s not the best at comfort, but some of the worshippers at the Temple were pretty good at it. Carefully, slowly, she reaches out.

Mr. Caleb flinches.

It punches through her, hard, how someone she so very admires would find her that repulsive but it makes sense. She shuffles away, heels catching on the dirt and the messy blood until the space between them is a chasm. Mr. Caleb stares at her. His mouth opens, shuts, opens again. Cali catches her cloak between her fingers, tugs it up and over her side until everything is hidden. Until she is safe. She ignores the shaking.

“Calianna -” Mr. Caleb chokes out.

“It’s perfectly understandable!” she cuts him off. Her voice wavers, thick with tears she refuses to let fall. She is _grown_. She is fine. “I’ve caused quite a mess, haven’t I? It wasn’t my intention, truly, you all just seemed so colourful when you came into the bar. I didn’t want anyone to argue.”

“Calianna,” Mr. Caleb repeats. Her teeth click. The rumble in her blood roars, a need billowing up and into her throat. She shoves her palm against her neck, fingers digging into the side as she swallows. Swallows again when Mr. Caleb gets up.

“You shouldn’t,” Cali starts. Guttural draconic laces the vowels, tugging everything down. Mr. Caleb stops. Good. Cali breathes out. “I apologize. I should go. I was going!”

A gusty sigh leaves Mr. Caleb as he folds down across from her, just collapses as though all his strings were suddenly cut. His hands shake. From this close, Cali can count the flecks of mud on his cheeks, dirty freckles, and he clenches his fists. He’s between her and the door, unfortunately. She pulls her knees up.

“I am not good at this,” Mr. Caleb says, voice choked, “this touch and comfort and general well-being. I am trying, though. I have been trying for about a month now.” A laugh, resembling a cough, rattles his thin form. “Would you believe it was not you that caused me to flinch?”

Cali frowns. She’s hyperaware of the scales that pepper her skin. “Of course it was me.”

“Nein,” Mr. Caleb says immediately, harshly, his hands jerking before he clenches them in his lap. “No, Calianna, that is not - you are not at fault here. I am not used to comfort. That is what you were offering, ja?”

“The worshippers at the Temple used to do it. I’ve never had the opportunity to return the favour,” Cali offers. Caleb smiles, a quick quirk of his lips that disappears into another heavy sigh. “If it wasn’t - pardon me for asking, Mr. Caleb, but if it wasn’t me, then what was it?”

“Ah, you know.” Mr. Caleb ducks his head, thin strands falling over his eyes. They’re a dazzling electric blue when he wields his magic. “Your story, Calianna, is very similar to something I’ve known.”

Brows scrunching, Cali asks, “You were also taken in at a young age and worshipped by Tiamat’s followers?”

Another laugh, this one a surprised punch of sound that ends in a whistle. Mr. Caleb has a nice laugh, warm and uncertain but still nice. He tilts his head back, squinting at the ceiling. “Not quite, I’m afraid. Similar. Parallel. You’ve adjusted better than I did.”

“The worshippers offered hugs when I was sad. Would a hug have been better?” Cali asks, pushing to her knees. Mr. Caleb eyes her, lips pursed. “No, that wouldn’t be better. Ah, I’ve gone and screwed it up again.”

“You are - surprising,” Mr. Caleb says. “Sincere in a way I did not expect. It was cruel of me to treat you so in front of the others.”

That gets Cali’s scales up. “Not at all! You were worried about the group, about the _world_ , and if I had been lying then you would’ve given up an amazingly powerful object to someone that knows exactly how to use it! Tiamat is dangerous. It’s why I want to get all the bowls. I mean, I didn’t know how to destroy them but I do now.”

Mr. Caleb remains quiet. Cali releases the cloak but doesn’t reach out. “Mr. Molly said it was something you did before. So did the others. Everyone was really scared! It was dark down there and more monsters are waiting. Emotions and all that, right?”

“Emotions,” Mr. Caleb repeats. “Yes, well, mine were out of line there.”

Blowing out a breath, Cali switches gears. “If our stories are parallel, that means I’ll find friends like you, right? Friends who don’t care about what I look like or still want to hang out with me when I’m being a bit dragon-y?”

“I know what you are doing,” Mr. Caleb says. The smile returns, lips twitching up. “Yes, Calianna, you will find friends who do not fear you. Maybe some will even stick with you, yell at you when you are being your garbage self, and still want to be around you. Jester seems quite taken.”

“Ah, well.” Cali flushes, skin prickly and hot. Jester had been so kind, so nice and generous and genuine to a point where Cali honestly isn’t sure what to do with her. The idea of writing a letter to someone that _wants_ to hear from her is mind boggling. “You are all very kind.”

“Some more than others?” Mr. Caleb says, question tilted up at the end. Cali squints at him. The smile has dimmed, fractured into the shadows that cling to Mr. Caleb’s face. Cali hesitates for a single moment before reaching out. Mr. Caleb stiffens, stills, and Cali pauses. It’s not her. Mr. Caleb has told her this. She trusts him.

Delicately, carefully, she brushes the tips of her fingers against his whitened knuckles. An explosive exhale leaves Mr. Caleb as he hunches forward, hand twisting until his palm is spread bare for her. Comfort. He isn’t used to comfort. Cali shuffles forward until their knees touch, until she can shrug the cloak and free her other arm. Mr. Caleb glances up at her. He opens his other palm.

Recalling the sure touch of Madame Kereyi, Cali lays her palms against Caleb’s. Her fingers brush the thunder of his pulse. The claws catch on the tendons straining at his wrist. Cali deliberately flexes her hands. Mr. Caleb breathes out again. He doesn’t flinch.

“It’s not as good as a hug, I’m sure,” Cali says, nervous. “But someone I knew very well would do this when I was unsure. It always had a way of calming me down. It made me happy. I don’t want you to be sad, Mr. Caleb.”

“You are a marvel, Calianna.” Mr Caleb tucks his fingers against her skin, draconic and not, and gives it a light squeeze. “I do hope our paths cross again.”

Cali smiles, giddy warmth spreading through her chest. “Well, Miss Yasha has the only sword that can break magic bowls, so I’ll probably show up in the near future.”

Slowly, she pulls her hands away, tucking her draconic arm back under her cloak. Mr. Caleb stares down at his hands, at fingers dirty with soot and blood and bog mud, before shaking his head and pushing to his feet with a groan. A fine silver thread winds around his fingers.

“Thank you for being kind, Calianna, and for being better,” Mr. Caleb says. He smiles, sure and strong and wonderful, and offers her a hand up. She wipes away the grime on her cloak and her knees before returning his smile and allowing herself to be pulled, hopping to her feet and squeezing his hand. He’ll be okay. Just like she will.

Their stories run parallel after all. If she can be happy, if she can forgive herself, Mr. Caleb can’t be that far off. She’ll help however she can. Maybe she’ll start with a letter…

**Author's Note:**

> come follow me on [ tumblr](http://ashinan.tumblr.com/) where I have fully collapsed in CritRole hell and am loving it. sigh


End file.
